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Turkey Trouble

November 19th, 2008 at 06:26 am

I've posted before that our townhouse complex is being invaded by a flock of wild turkeys. Our unit backs up to a common area frequented by deer, songbirds, and other wildlife, including turkeys. Being a peace-loving and tolerant individual, I'm trying to share my tiny patio with them. Maybe they will go away after Thanksgiving and I can resume sitting under the pergola without fear of being bombarded by... well, let's just leave it at that.

Now they are even roosting on the roof. I will not call the HOA for fear the turkeys will be "relocated" the same way the wild pigs were (to someone's freezer, we think). So, I wait patiently, trying to maintain my sense of humor... Warning: funny turkey story ahead (sent to me via email)

A young man named Victor received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

Victor tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, Victor was so fed up he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. Victor shook the parrot and the parrot got angry and even ruder. Victor, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked, kicked, screamed, and used language as foul as anything Victor had ever heard. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing he'd hurt the parrot, Victor quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto Victor's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

Victor was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

And now, compliments of a former student, some "corny" turkey jokes for the kids: *groan*

What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?
Answer: If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
Answer: God save the kin.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
Answer: It was the chicken's day off.

Why was the turkey sent to the principal's office?
Answer: He used "fowl" language!

What did the little turkey say to the big turkey?
Answer: "Peck" on someone your own size!

Happy Thanksgiving!

5 Responses to “Turkey Trouble”

  1. shiela Says:


  2. kdmoffett25 Says:

    LOL It may be annoying now, but they are cool to a point. I couldn't let my daughter or husband near your house... there would be no turkeys left. Sad to say. But I would let them be. Maybe they think you will protect them until after the holidays. Smile

  3. campfrugal Says:

    Too funny. They almost look like buzzards hovering over your house.

  4. monkeymama Says:

    Yeah, that looks like my office. They really like the roof too.

    Of course my office is in the middle of the city so it's kind of funny to see so many turkeys around. (Not exactly expected, but we are by a horse pasture and a creek so that is their home I guess).

  5. Analise Says:

    monkeymama - we are in the city, too, but sandwiched between a park and the hills, so our area must be a former wildlife habitat that was encroached... sad.

    I am amazed turkeys would hang out near an office building in the city (beats having turkeys as co-workers, I guess *wink*).

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